Got A Three On it!?!?!

In the classic Parliament song “P-Funk (Wants to Get Funked Up), it is noted that some funk “has a three” on it. What does this mean? How does something “get a three” on it? I’m not sure, but Clinton notes Doobie Brothers music has a three on it. Thus, based on my critical reasoning skills and a potentially false assumption that having a three on it is bad, here are several other musicians that likely have a three on them.

Chicago – If only eternity could be spent on hold on the telephone whilst listening to “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”

The Carpenters – “We’ve Only Just Begun” to kick off the album “Close to You” just reinforces that you still have eleven songs of kitsch to go.

ABBA – If you didn’t give Mama Mia a standing ovation on Broadway, it was probably because you shot yourself somewhere in the middle of the first act.

All Hair Metal – All Hair Metal has a three on it, but the musicians know this and embrace it and still manage to look like girls while having copious amounts of sex with girls.

William Shatner – William Shatner is the definition of having a three on himself. He couldn’t get less funky if he tried. George Clinton has probably eaten hamburgers funkier than Captain Kirk. Just watch ole Will sing “Rocket Man” in his legendary video from an awards show. Not only does he have a three on him, but there’s three (or more!) of him, all equally unfunky, all equally Shat-tastic.