3 Man

Since it's a new year, we at the Stain Club are going to ring it in with some new Stain Club vocabulary: 3 Man.

Everyone has been in the situation where they're out with a friend who just doesn't have it. Maybe the friend is going huge because they thought they had it, maybe they're pushing down on the BPAS a little too early, or maybe they just never have it and probably never will. Sometimes you'll get swept up in their grisly defeat simply because you're hanging out / live with them. When this happens once or twice, you chalk it up to bad luck. When this happens everytime you're near them... you need to be the 3 Man.

In order to be the 3 Man you have to be 3 men. The first man is yourself, the second allows you to break even because your friend is that awful, and the third brings you back to your original starting point; two people who are enjoyable to hang out with. Bystanders are always encouraged to invoke this power by telling a good friend he's being thrown under the bus (also known as getting Plumpied) by the terribleness of others and can only escape by becoming the 3 Man. Ways to do this usually entail holding up 3 fingers (in the "okay" or "three-ball" style) or simply shouting "3 Man" so all may here. Often times, when you're only one man its easy to get swept under that bus and get run over by a torrential downpour of awful and stain. 3 Man's everywhere avoid this and carry their teammates back to glory against impossible odds. The kind of odds you need 3 men to beat.


Some real-life examples of the 3 Man phenomenon:

Allen Iverson in every game the Sixers ever won with him.
Brian Westbrook in the second half of the 2006 Eagles season.
Curt Schilling in the "bloody sock" game.
James Carville running Boris Yeltsin's Presidential campaign.
John Elway in "The Drive"
The 2003-04 Penn State Defense (they would've been 33 men because the offense was that bad and their were 11 of them).
Bill Clinton winning in 1992.