Be Safe. Be Courteous.

If you turn on a Cingular Wireless phone, a message pops up. Do you know what that message says? “Be safe. Be courteous.” Now, I’m not sure if it’s all Cingular Wireless phones that do this, but some of them do, and what’s the story here? Oh, I was going to make a phone call and scream and curse at my grandmother while smoking crack and driving 120 miles per hour through Center City Philadelphia, but now that you’ve reminded me I shouldn’t, my dear Cingular Wireless, all is saved. What if your toaster burned into your bread a message like “Always say please and thank you?” Or when your car started, it told you to only honk your horn at those who deserve it. Why are my appliances telling me how to live my life?

Not only that, but cell phones are a huge player in being discourteous. Ever been in an awful conversation and feel a familiar buzz or hear that delightful ring and thank God you have an excuse to get away? I know I’m not the only one. This is like turning on a television and seeing a message that says “Don’t waste your time.”

It’s not even a suggestion. Cingular Wireless is demanding I be safe. While, if I could say something to them, it would be this: “Shut up. I’m getting Verizon now.”