Car accidents jepardize humanity

A recent scientific breakthrough threatens to make the male population obsolete. Several days ago this article described a method discovered in which sperm sells can be artificially derived from adult stem cells found in the bone marrow. This discovery would both cure infertility in men and allow lesbian couples to have children. However, because women posses only X chromosomes, two women would be unable to have sons. Well... at least I can open a jar of pickles.

In related news, stock in vacuum cleaners and Ford Explorers both rose an astounding 56.3 percent today.