Superhero Baseball

S.Q. Hagglepuss posted something the other day here about superheroes and baseball, and it didn't make a whole lot of sense, but it got me thinking about the comical idea of thinking about what superheroes certain baseball players would be. Ridiculous and nonsensical? Absolutely. Here's a couple examples.

Greg Maddux = Batman: Greg Maddux is always thinking and planning his next move, just like the Dark Knight detective. And Batman doesn't really have any genuine powers, and Greg Maddux's 86 mph four-seamer can't exactly be considered superhuman. Maddux lives on the edge of the strike zone, and Batman lives on the edge of the night. Yes.

Ricky Henderson = The Flash. Two speedsters, one scarlet, one a former Oakland A.

Derek Jeter = Captain America. Two guys always trying to find a way to win. The only difference is that Captain America works for the people, and Derek Jeter works for Satan.

Bronson Arroyo = Dazzler. Self-explanatory if you know who these two people are.

Johnny Damon = Two-Face. Traitorous bastard.

Albert Pujols = Superman. Both deserve respect and strike fear in their opponents. I'm sure there's a balding pitcher with poor lifetime stats against Fat Albert. I'm kind of hoping it's John Smoltz. And following this:

David Eckstein = Robin. The best sidekicks of all time.

Chase Utley = Green Lantern. Green Lantern derives his power from having the strongest will, and if you've seen Chase Utley gunning for second base on a pop-up on the odd chance the fielder drops the ball, you can tell he's a hero.

Barry Bonds = Booster Gold. Funny if you know who Booster Gold is.

Randy Johnson = Mr. Fantastic. Who has a bigger unit than Mr. Fantastic?

More of this idiocy to come later, maybe. Maybe not.