Sports Theory

There are a lot of theories about dating and relationships out there. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Girl-Face Girls, He's Just Not That Into You, are few that come immediately to mind. Sports Theory isn't like those listed above. It's main tenet is a remarkably simple one: Guys willingness to start dating or look for dating opportunities is inversely proportionate to the number of major sporting events currently happening.

Our three female readers might think that's crazy (arguably they all stopped reading after they learned about GFG's), but think about it for a second. Right now we're in one of the most open dating times in a guy's calendar year. The Super Bowl is over, even spring training seems far away and its too early to get out your Bracketology textbooks. Sure the NBA is going on, but the NBA is like that the ridiculously popular and hot girl you quietly worshiped in high school. You would've done anything to get her to speak to you then. This was like the Michael Jordan era. Now that you're back from college you run into her a bar and realize she was just the first one to figure out how to do her makeup well and isn't that bright. The fall from grace is a long one. But I digress...

Hallmark wisely chose to install Valentine's Day right in the heart of this sports quiet. Does anyone seriously think that your average guy would remember to buy a Valentine's Day gift when he's working on his playoff picker? Doubtful.

Sports Theory is a flexible sort of doctrine. It's not just about football and baseball. Those are the sports of most guys. But maybe you're really into MLS or the NHL (remember when the NHL was part of the Big Four American sports? Yeah me neither), then your Sports Theory would adjust accordingly. The big dating periods according to the generally accepted principles of Sports Theory are from the Super Bowl to March Madness, from the conclusion of March Madness to Baseball Opening Day, usually about two months into baseball season you have a pretty good sense of how your team is doing (remember kids I'm a Reds fan... we mail it in around late May. We had to evolve some sort of defense mechanism so don't judge me) to the start of football season. Then after the Super Bowl you just have football season and despite ESPN's best efforts to get me fired, I really don't think there's enough football news to fill a week.

Some of these periods are stronger than others. For instance, I think we're in the midst of the largest sports dating period of the year. If you're not convinced, I suggest you look back and start thinking about when you started pursuing / dating girls. I think you'll find that a lot of your past dating started during the aforementioned periods. If not, I think you should strongly consider being ashamed of yourself.