The Night is Mine

It’s not easy to say “What Would Jesus Do?” and attempt to live your life by that mantra. It’s an honorable thing. Love thy neighbor. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Do good unto others and ye shall be rewarded. All of it is wonderful.

Unfortunately, we live in America. Our economy is capitalism. You gotta watch your own ass here. You gotta be one step ahead of the competition, all the while watching you back for attempted knifings. If you can live by the Jesus code, you have my support and blessings. Christianity is a beautiful thing. However, I have a new man I’m trying to live by. Now, I wouldn’t translate this code to a work situation, or family relations, but it applies to how you deal with romantic relationships. Think of this code: What Would Bruce Wayne Do?

Bruce Wayne, for those of you who live in a cave (one without bats, obviously) is a superhero. He fights crime as The Batman. The night is his. He will scare the shit out of you. He will get the information out of you. He will solve everything. However, unless you’re planning on becoming a vigilante or you’re a detective, Batman isn’t much good to you. His other ego, Bruce Wayne, is.

Let’s consider this: Bruce Wayne spends most of his nights solving crimes, sticking it to the baddies, and generally pressing down on the BPAS as hard as he can. This means he’s too tired to do a whole lot during the day. Thus, he goes through his “job” as lackadaisical playboy without appearing very concerned or interested. This approach may not get you very far in the workplace. After all, Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, and you, I’m assuming, are not. So then, what good is it? Glad you asked.

Extend that lackadaisical approach to your social life that Bruce Wayne does to his. Who cares what you’re doing. Who cares if you can’t get a date. Bruce Wayne doesn’t care. He cancels dates to kick ass. Maybe you should be doing this, too. Instead of getting hung up on a girl, go buy this and do some ass-kicking of your own.

The point is, in the grossness of our modern world, nonchalance is winning in the dating arena. The old school tactics of buying flowers for dates and harping on your significant other’s every wish are over, if they ever worked in the first place. You’ve got to act like you’re busy. For Bruce Wayne, it’s not an act. He is busy. He’s making sure that Two-Face isn’t about to kill your family. You, on the other hand, probably don’t have quite as serious a commitment. That doesn’t matter. The person on the other end of the line doesn’t need to know that for you “busy” translates into a six-pack of Miller Light and Death Wish II.

Harness the Bruce Wayne playboy-style for your own needs, watch your strength grow, and the night will be yours, too.