Awful Idea #37

When I was in high school, in eleventh grade I had to read a book called Tooth and Nail, and it was a novel that also served as a way to drastically improve one’s vocabulary for taking the SATs. This could work for doing other things in life. For example, consider a torrid romance novel that also teaches you how to properly marinate a chicken. The title? Tender is the Meat. This is awful idea of mine # 37, so that means I have at least thirty-six other ones.

The Lover

I recently read a book called The Lover by Marguerite Duras. Released originally in French in 1984, this book is about a very young girl (presumably Duras, and not quite fictional) having an affair with a significantly older Chinese man. The book tackles sexual frustration, poverty, racism, and family relations, it just unfortunately doesn’t do any of them very well. The story is out of chronological order, which does not heighten its effect whatsoever, and while there are certainly a few nice dramatic scenes and the narrative voice is fully developed, the book is unnecessarily disorienting, which detracts from the piece. The narrator (or Duras) is trying to make sense of what happened, and I certainly hope she did, because I didn’t get much from it. QFS on this book before you even bother to pick it up.

The Lifestyle of Stain

There are few blogs out there today that really capture the true nature of Stain. Since you're reading this blog, you're pretty interested in all sorts of stainy happenings. Therefore, you should definitely check out The Lifestyle. It's so well-written that you don't have to know any of the people in the stories. Read just a few posts and you will understand that whoever these people are, they are truly dedicated to creating a towering monument to the glory of Stain.

As a further recommendation, I was so upset when this blog shut down for a few months that I left a very long drunken voicemail for the author (who I had never met or spoken to before) demanding that he stop working and get back to staining.

I give it 4 stains out of 5.

Ball Four

I recently read Jim Bouton’s baseball classic Ball Four for the first time, and found it an enjoyable read. The book follows Bouton around as he tries to right his career by pitching with a knuckleball on then expansion team The Seattle Pilots (now the Milwaukee Brewers). While I can’t say I learned much new about how baseball players act, I can see that in the historical context, this book must have been quite revolutionary, given its behind the scenes look (something not done before Bouton's work). I really enjoy Bouton himself as a character, and found myself rooting for him to start games, or pitch well in relief, especially against his former team, the Yankees. His character really shined through in the writing. Most of the other figures in the book fell into the background, although manager Schultz stood out to me as particularly entertaining. It’s also fun to see guys like Lou Piniella referenced as a rookie, especially for younger fans who have a hard time imagining such a thing. The book reads incredibly fast, and is told in diary format from Bouton’s perspective.

I would mostly recommend the book to baseball fans, as while the book is comprehensible to those who don’t know a changeup from a splitter, I wouldn’t enjoy reading this without something I was personally interested in (such as baseball) as the backdrop. Thus, if you don’t enjoy baseball, go read someone else’s diary, as this reads pretty much as a well-spoken man’s bemusement at the idiosyncrasies of those around him. It’s the baseball combined with Bouton's humor and clever writing that makes the book stand out, and those not interested in the sporting part might find the book mildly amusing at times, but probably couldn’t care less what Bouton’s ERA was by season’s end. Baseball fans won’t be disappointed, and if you’re not a baseball fan, well, you probably should be.

Blood Meridian

Cormack McCarthy’s most critically acclaimed novel, published originally in 1985, takes place in the middle of the nineteenth century on the roughly defined America/Mexico border, and stars a merry band of assholes who pillage and kill everything they can and make a fine living off of the scalps of Native Americans. The central character - called only the kid - will oftentimes not be referenced for large periods of time, which can be frustrating. He is also perhaps the only character with any semblance of a moral center, although another character called the judge is perhaps the book’s most interesting figure. At times psychotic, at other times eloquent, the judge’s perspectives on war, violence, humanity, and even dancing, all make the book worth reading. Also, McCarthy’s visual depictions are at times incredible, and even when he falters he can easily be forgiven. I’ve heard before that McCarthy is kind of like “Faulkner-lite” but based on this work and the Faulkner that I’ve read, while there are certainly similarities between the two men, McCarthy very much has his own voice. Blood Meridian is worth reading, although be forewarned that its characters are despicable and their acts savage and unforgiving. I may give it a second read at some point to glean further insight into the minds of the characters, and track down particularly haunting passages of violence or nature.

Native Son

I recently had the privilege of reading Richard Wright’s novel Native Son. While I doubt I have anything new to add to discussion of the book, it’s unfortunate that this is still the sad reality. In any case, this is an unbelievable novel, definitely worth a read for its rather unique perspectives on racism in America. I’ve rarely met characters with such a disconnect from society like Bigger Thomas.

Six Word Stories

Here’s a hilarious collection of stories by different writers, all readable in a sitting because all are only six words long. It stems from a Hemingway story that’s explained in the article. And here’s my six word story on the Phillies’ 2006 season: Howard hits another homer. Phillies lose.

Memories of My Melancholy Whores

No, this isn’t a journal post, but rather the title of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s most recent work of fiction, which I recently had the pleasure of reading. This book was Marquez’s first work of fiction in ten years. The novel (or novella, given its length), is divided into five sections. I found the first of these the most moving, and could see it working as a short story. The novel concerns a man who, on his ninetieth birthday, falls in love with a fourteen year old virgin. While the novel could easily read as a bizarre defense of pedophilia, I certainly did not conclude this. The lead character’s love of such a young girl is more a symbolic act of falling in love with the notion of love itself. His infatuation with a child reflects the youth of his spirit, and also his lack of maturity in his relationships with women. The old adage goes that you are only as old as you feel, and this character behaves much in the manner of a befuddled sixteen year old. A novel in the same vein as this would be Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita, surely the superior work. Nevertheless, Memories of My Melancholy Whores is a bittersweet book capable of being read in one sitting, and the narrator is a character of no small intrigue in his own right. Also, I’ve heard the novel reads better in Spanish, so if you’re competent in it, then read it as it was originally written.